I've officially been back since Sunday afternoon at 4. Nothing has really changed. I still have the same job, the same family, the same friends, the same house, the same everything. But, something feels a little different. I can't exactly put my finger on it and that's been a little frustrating. I want to share my trip and my experiences with everyone, but I find myself having a hard time putting it into words in a way that can fully explain it. I had such a wonderful, yet(apparently) unexplainable time in South Africa and I'm disappointed that I can't express it correctly to people. People ask me if I had a good time and I say "yes" and they ask if I would go again and I say "absolutely". And in some instances, I leave it at that. Because there's not really a short way of saying what it truly meant to me. I almost find myself guarding some of the stories about the kids or conversations we had amongst ourselves because I don't want people who can never understand the full picture to take small parts of what I tell them and draw conclusions that don't fully represent how things really were there. I'm not sure if that will make sense to anyone but me:) I also find myself struggling with the fact that I'm proud of my faith and I'm proud that I spent a week serving God and learning more about Him and I loved being surrounded by other Christians for two whole weeks, but I don't want people to think that somehow I'm a completely different person that I was before. In some ways I do feel a little different. I have more of an understanding of God's power. I see how life can be if you follow the directions God gives in the bible. I've seen and felt the rewards of living that kind of life 24/7. But that doesn't mean that I'm a crazy-holy-roller-judgemental-weird-bible girl now. I wasn't perfect before and I'm still not. I would never expect anyone else to be either. If anything I'm less judgemental now because I recognize my own shortcomings and the fact that we're all a work in progress.
Just like everyone else, my life is a constant evolution. My trip to South Africa gave me a lot of insight into how other people live and how blessed I am to be an American citizen and a follower of Jesus Christ. What I'm trying to sort out now is what do I do next? I'll keep you posted.
1 comment:
I think you explain everything perfectly. Your grandmother gave me your blog to follow and I absolutely love to read it. I think you have done a wonderful thing and it is amazing to read everything you are experiencing. I understand what you mean, but please continue to share. :)
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