Leave Your Regrets Behind

Regrets from Igniter Media on Vimeo.

A Lesson Learned

“Anyone who seeks his own happiness will not find it. But those who seek the happiness of others will find happiness in all they do.”

–a transliteration of the words of Jesus from Mathew 16

2008 is coming to a close and a brand new year will be unveiled tomorrow night at midnight. As I was thinking about 2008 something stuck out to me. Every day this year, the news was filled to the brim with stories of ecomomic uncertainty, concerns about the election, war, and violence around the world. And I admit that at times I was nervous and even anxious about some of it. But amidst all of that, my life went on and even thrived. I think it has a lot to do with the fact that I finally understood what Jesus was saying in the quote above from Matthew 16.

I was able to recover from divorce and my dad's death. And even better than just recovering, I learned great lessons from both events. I was blessed to meet Matt and our relationship has grown into something so much better than I could have ever imagined. It has benefited greatly from the lessons I learned over the past year. The number one lesson being that our relationship is not filling a hole in my life. I finally understand that it's no one's job to make me happy. (That sounds horrible, doesn't it??) I think our relationship is a gift of every day love and friendship.

In 2008, for the first time (that I can remember) I truly listened when God called on me. My trip to South Africa was the most amazing experience I've ever had and it showed me the truth in Jesus' quote above... "Anyone who seeks his OWN happiness will not find it. But those who seek the happiness of OTHERS will find happiness in ALL they do." The feelings I got from serving others on that trip have inspired me to keep finding ways to make other people happy. The greatest lesson I've learned this year is that when I start to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, nervous, or fearful it's because I'm spending too much time thinking about myself and my circumstances. It's only when I look outward and start thinking of others and what I can do for them that all of those negative emotions melt away.

I'm so looking forward to 2009 and what it will bring. I wish everyone a wonderful and prosperous New Year!

So Bored...

It's the day after Christmas and I'm stuck working... by myself. Our whole department closed today and everyone had to take a vacation day (no freebies around here). Unfortunately, I have zero vacation days left because of my South Africa trip, so I'm here working all alone. I've discovered that working alone is not something I would ever care to do permanently. It's super boring and way too quiet. The lights aren't even on. I'm sitting here at my desk in the dark with just my desk lamp on. I'm thinking about maybe blaring some music just to liven the place up a bit. It's not like it would be bothering anyone:)

Looking forward to five o'clock...

I Elfed Us!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Good advice...

Time Tested Beauty Tips
For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you'll never walk alone.
We leave you a tradition with a future.
The tender loving care of human beings will never become obsolete.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed.
Never throw anybody out.
Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.
As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.
Your 'good-ole-days' are ahead of you.
May you have many of them.

Written by Sam Levinson

South Africa Slide Show

Bart Weller, who was also on our SA trip, made this slideshow and posted it on You Tube. I can't even explain what unbelievable timing he had in sharing it. I've really been struggling to remember all the lessons I learned, all the feelings I had, and all the love I felt on this trip. Seeing these photos and hearing the songs took me right back there and it all came flooding back. What an amazing experience we had! I'm so thankful for every second of it. The number one thing I took away from this trip is that God loves each and every one of us more than we could ever hope to understand and we're so lucky because he uses ordinary people to spread His love around the world... and I got to be one of them.

This always makes me laugh...

The Bridge

There's a lot to celebrate at Christmas. Watch this video.

Top 10 Things I Am Thankful For

Since it's Thanksgiving tomorrow, now seems like a great time to think about what I'm most thanksful for this year. Here's the top 10, but not necessarily in this order...

10. For the joy that has come through healing a broken heart.
9. For Matt.
8. For all of my friends.
7. For all the laughter and fun times I've shared with my friends.
6. For good health, a safe place to live, food to eat, and clothes to wear.
5. For my YMCA small group who I've learned so much from this year.
4. For my job.
3. For the opportunity to experience South Africa. (I could write a top 10 ten list just about SA)
2. For my family.
1. For who God is and what he's done in and through my life.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!

Baby Mya!!

Matt's niece, Mya, was born on Tuesday, November 25th at 8:59pm. She weighs 8.15 oz and is 20.5 inches. She has A TON of black hair and dark brown eyes. She's adorable! Matt is very excited to be an uncle and just entering into "aunthood" myself this year, I would agree that having a new little one in the family is a lot of fun!

Hope Exists

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

- Jeremiah 29:11

It's tough out there lately and it sounds like all the predictions say it could get a bit worse before it gets better. I have to admit that I thought I was recession proof for awhile there. But it's official, I'm just like everyone else. My biggest account placed their 2009 advertising last week and they are down almost 50%. Without going into the nitty gritty details, I lost thousands and thousands of dollars in commission on just that one piece of business. Although the shock of it was brutal, the panic I got from thinking about the potential cancellations from the rest of my clients really got me going last week. The more I thought about it though, the more I calmed down. My faith came through reminding me that God will never leave me or forsake me and that He's God in both good times and in bad. There are lessons in financial responsibility to be learned here and I plan to take full advantage of being forced into learning to get by on less and being much less frivolous. We're all in the same boat here and together we'll get through this stormy weather and move on to calmer waters. My hope is that we'll all help each other through whatever comes our way. I love the verse from Jeremiah that says "For I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future." It's a reminder that God isn't trying to punish us or make us suffer. He has great plans for us and wants nothing but the best. Times may be tough, but God will be with us through it all and those who trust in Him will find comfort in knowing that we're not alone. Hope does exist.

Pictures from the weekend

Kyra's sister, Heidi, was in town from Georgia this weekend. A bunch of us girls went to Bonefish for appetizers and martinis to celebrate her visit to Des Moines. Afterwards, we went to Cabaret West Glen and Tonic. Matt met up with us for a few drinks. I was very impressed that he was able to hold his own at a table full of girl talk:)

The Mousetrap

This was a forward I got this afternoon. I thought it was so cool, I wanted to post it for everyone...


A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. What food might this contain?' the mouse wondered - - -he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning : There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!' The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, 'Mr.Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you, but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it.'


The mouse turned to the pig and told him, 'There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!' The pig sympathized, but said, 'I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers.'


The mouse turned to the cow and said, 'There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!' The cow said, 'Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose.' So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap . . . alone.


That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hospital, and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness. So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember ----when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

REMEMBER. . . EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY; OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.

Oh he's just so cute!

Here are some photos of JR and Matt from last Friday night. JR is almost 9 months old in these photos. He's getting so big! He kind of scoots/crawls and he was waving the other night. It was adorable! He babbles, but I haven't heard any clear words yet. According to Jolynn, he has quite a loud voice and he likes to hear himself be noisy. Having little JR in our family is such a blessing... I just love him like crazy!

Who Needs Pockets?

This is TOO cute!!!

Here's what's new...

It's been awhile since I posted anything, so here's what's going on these days...

• I hung out with my family, Matt, and JR last Friday night. Wow, he's getting big! (JR, not Matt.) Guess that's what happens, right? He's almost 9 months now!


• Saturday night I celebrated Amanda's and Jill's birthdays at Ohana's. Yum! It's our tradition to do birthdays at Ohana's and it might be my most favorite tradition of all time. At one exciting point in the evening the chef let me stand behind the grill and try to crack an egg by tossing it in the air and breaking it on the side of the spatula. I need a bit more practice to master that one:) It's definitely harder than it looks.


• I've been on a roll at work lately, which has been awesome. I've been calling on lots of new business to try to offset the business that's down for 2009. Just trying to keep the dream alive. (It's a full time job, you know.)


• I'm working on finding some service projects that I can jump into. It's not too tough at this time of year because there are so many opportunities to serve around the holidays. I haven't nailed down exactly what I'm going to do yet, but my goal is to do that before next Monday.

I guess that's about all I've got going on for now. I'll keep you posted!

Happy Holidays... It's never too early to say that, right?!

"My Wish"

Make a Smilebox slideshow

Looking Back to Look Forward

It's been a really special night. Brian and Lois Niehoff are back in the States from South Africa visiting for the next couple of months. This weekend they are speaking at all three church services at Point of Grace and tonight we got to have a dinner with them. Everyone from our church who has travelled to South Africa got together for the dinner and it was a lot of fun catching up with everyone on my team, hearing stories of other teams, and spending time with Brian and Lois. It was almost surreal seeing them walk into church tonight because when I left South Africa I left with a sadness in my heart knowing that I might never get to see any of those people again. (I knew that Brian and Lois were coming back to visit, but it was hard to picture them anywhere other than SA.) We saw a lot of photos tonight of our trip, other teams' trips, and the kids at The Pines. It was so much fun to take a trip down memory lane but it was also kind of sad because I miss the kids so much and I also miss my time there.

I've readjusted to my life here, but I will never forget my time in South Africa and my heart has been forever changed. I find myself searching for what God is calling me to do next. Not a day has gone by since I've returned that I haven't thought of the people I left behind in South Africa. And not a day has gone by that I haven't thought about all that God has entrusted me with here and because of that, it is my life's passion and purpose to serve God by serving other people. The feeling that I get from doing God's work is indescribable. It's a feeling of pure joy. It's a fulfillment deep within your soul that gives you a glimpse into understanding God's love and how perfectly complete it is.

How awesome is it that God created us to do His work? God is perfect. His love is perfect. His intentions are perfect. And yet He chooses us. We are not perfect and he chooses us to do His work in serving other people. I never understood before going to South Africa what it was like to fully give yourself over to God for His agenda and His work. I can assure you that I was given so much more than I gave. I pray that I won't miss a single opportunity that God gives me to serve. And I pray that each and every one of you will discover the joy of giving and serving that I'm talking about and that together we will be able to really make a difference in the world in the name of the One who gave us the greatest gift the world has ever known, His Son, Jesus Christ.

For God so loved the world that He gave his one and only Son so that whoever believes in Him will not perish, but will have eternal life. -John 3:16

The "We" Generation. Inspiring.

Song of the Day from Iowa's Very Own

Today's Song of the Day

Leslie and the Lys
How we go Out

This girl is from Ames, Iowa and she's clearly CRAZY! She was featured in Juice this week and is apparently an internet phenomenon. After seeing her videos on YouTube I can see why. You have to see it for youself!

You're all invited!

This weekend at church we'll be showing a photo slideshow of our South Africa trip, showing the video of Troy's baptism, hearing a testimony from Steve Miller (who was on our team), plus the Niehoff's are back in the States from South Africa and they'll be speaking briefly as well. We are in a series right now called Whyi and this week's topic is "Inspire". I'm sure the services will be great! I'm planning to attend all three services and I'd love nothing more than for you to join me for one. The services are at 5pm on Saturday, 9am on Sunday, or 10:30am on Sunday. Email me if you want to come!

Do Your Part

No matter who you're supporting, I hope everyone goes to the polls tomorrow and casts their vote. The whole world will be watching as we American's enjoy the freedom that has been hard earned for us. Not everyone around the world is so lucky to enjoy a democratic government that gives them the right to let their voice be heard. Each candidate has sacrificed much over the past year to run for the presidency and I'm sure they both have a plan that they believe will help the USA be the best it can be. Please remember that we're choosing someone to lead us, not do and fix everything for us. America has been a success through hard work and the dedication of many to uphold the Constitution and the Christian values we were founded on. There is only one man who can save the world, Jesus Christ. Vote tomorrow for the man you feel will best lead our country into the bright future we're all capable of through faith and hard work.

That's my voting speech... glad I was able to get that out:)

I'm back... officially.

I should share the good news... I'm officially back to being my pre-South Africa self (hopefully an improved version even)! It took a little while for me to shake the "I miss South Africa" blues. Going back to work was tough!! About a week ago, a good (and very brutally honest) friend pointed out to me that I do not have a single thing to be miserable about and while I was gone my friends and family really missed me and it was not cool of me to come back and be down and out. I agree with her. Sometimes it just takes a little tough love to shake me back into reality I guess:) Thankfully, I can always count on Renee to call like she she sees it.

Song of the Day

God Rests in Reason
Jason Mraz

This is a beautiful song. It's kind of deep and you have to listen closely because he says a lot in the lyrics. It's definitely worth a listen. I don't think this is one of his most well known songs, but you can find it on iTunes.

Here's my favorite part...
Think not you can direct the course of Love
itself directs the course allowed
Believe not god is in your heart, child
But rather you're in the heart of god

How cute are these guys??

Every kid at The Pines is absolutely adorable! South African children are certainly blessed with cuteness if nothing else:) I just had to share some of these photos. I have over 3500 photos (thanks to a whole team of camera junkies) and I've slowly been digging through them all. These were just a few of my favorite ones of some of the kids. It took awhile to memorize all of their names because there were so many children and their names are so unusual (for an American to remember anyway). I'm proud to be able to tell you that the top photo is Rafiloe, Nontembisa, and Gladys. The middle picture is Nobisa, and the bottom photo is me and Laratto. I can't promise that I spelled them all correctly, but I'm happy that I was able to learn all of their names!

Still Getting Back to "Normal"

Getting back to normal has not been as easy as I hoped it would be. I've been feeling very rundown and tired lately. A headache and a sore throat seem to be lingering since I got back. I haven't been getting great sleep lately either thanks to a constant stream of South Africa dreams. None of the dreams are scary or anything, just dreams about being at The Pines or dreams about the Niehoff's, the O'Tool's or the kids. On one hand, it's wonderful that I get to keep seeing them in my dreams, but on the other hand it's making it very difficult for me to get back to my regular life. I keep wondering what they're all up to and thinking about my time there and what I would be doing if I were still there. Before we left, we were warned that a piece of our heart would always stay in South Africa and I can see the truth in that now. I'm starting to think a part of my mind stayed there too:)

I still haven't figured out what God wants me to do next. I miss the feeling of accomplishment and fulfillment that I had in South Africa. I miss it so much. I'd do anything to get it back. Coming back to work has been the toughest. But I keep plugging away and trying to do my best. I'm blessed with a wonderful job that provides me a life far greater than I need or probably deserve. If nothing else, out of appreciation, I want to do the best I can everyday.

It's important for me to keep in mind that while I might not think that I'm doing anything extraordinary here, just by living the life God gave me and doing the best I can, I might be doing all that He intended for me to do at this point. Until the next opportunity arises, I'll just keep going.

Today's Song of the Day

There's Hope
India Arie

Song of the Day

Time in Between
Francesca Battistelli

"But it’s the time in between
That brings me to my knees
Knowing you came for me
And all that I can't be I'm amazed, so amazed
And I thank You for the time in between
Don't take much for this crazy world To rob me of my peace
And the enemy of my soul Says You’re holding out on me
So I stand here lifting empty hands
For you to fill me up again"

Song of the Day

Today's Song of the Day:

Crazy (Acoustic Version)
Seal

Before I went on my trip, I was searching around on iTunes for acoustic versions of songs that I like. This one is a great one! It's not 100% acoustic because about a minute and half into the song it gets a little techno beat. But, it's a pretty cool song. I listened to it on the airplane about 25 times. Now it's got special meaning because it reminds me of my trip.

Back to Real Life

I've officially been back since Sunday afternoon at 4. Nothing has really changed. I still have the same job, the same family, the same friends, the same house, the same everything. But, something feels a little different. I can't exactly put my finger on it and that's been a little frustrating. I want to share my trip and my experiences with everyone, but I find myself having a hard time putting it into words in a way that can fully explain it. I had such a wonderful, yet(apparently) unexplainable time in South Africa and I'm disappointed that I can't express it correctly to people. People ask me if I had a good time and I say "yes" and they ask if I would go again and I say "absolutely". And in some instances, I leave it at that. Because there's not really a short way of saying what it truly meant to me. I almost find myself guarding some of the stories about the kids or conversations we had amongst ourselves because I don't want people who can never understand the full picture to take small parts of what I tell them and draw conclusions that don't fully represent how things really were there. I'm not sure if that will make sense to anyone but me:) I also find myself struggling with the fact that I'm proud of my faith and I'm proud that I spent a week serving God and learning more about Him and I loved being surrounded by other Christians for two whole weeks, but I don't want people to think that somehow I'm a completely different person that I was before. In some ways I do feel a little different. I have more of an understanding of God's power. I see how life can be if you follow the directions God gives in the bible. I've seen and felt the rewards of living that kind of life 24/7. But that doesn't mean that I'm a crazy-holy-roller-judgemental-weird-bible girl now. I wasn't perfect before and I'm still not. I would never expect anyone else to be either. If anything I'm less judgemental now because I recognize my own shortcomings and the fact that we're all a work in progress.

Just like everyone else, my life is a constant evolution. My trip to South Africa gave me a lot of insight into how other people live and how blessed I am to be an American citizen and a follower of Jesus Christ. What I'm trying to sort out now is what do I do next? I'll keep you posted.

Just a few more days

I spent pretty much all day today painting. I'm exhausted. I started this morning around 8:30 and now it's 11:30pm. I worked on our team mural in the hallway leading into the kids activity room and I also spent a lot of time painting 3 year old Meredith's new bedroom two shades of pink. Meredith is Amber and Louis's daughter. She's adorable. Hilarious really. Everything she says is "you must do this" or "you must not do this". She spends quite a bit of time in time out if you can't tell. One of her other funny things is that she starts and ends a request with please. For instance, "Please Jamey can I have some more of that please". I guess she thinks if she doubles up on the pleases she might be more likely to get what she wants. I don't know, it works on me:)

Tomorrow is our last day here. We have quite a bit to finish up on the project we've started and our goal is to be done by 230 when the kids get home from school. It's a big goal. We've still got a lot to do on finishing the addition to the O'Tools flat. I'm sure we'll get it done though. We're a pretty hardworking team. Tomorrow night we're hosting a pizza party for everyone and that should be a lot of fun. We'll probably take a gazillion photos too. I think collectively we already have over 1000 and they're mostly all saved on my computer, so get ready for the hour long slideshow. I promise I'll try not to bore you guys too much:) By reading the blogs, you already know most of what I would tell you anyway. This way you'll get to see what it all really looks like.

Well, I'll be home in just a couple of days. I can't wait to see you all. And I can't wait to work out. I feel like I've gained a hundred pounds. That was so not my plan by the way. I was supposed to be going the other direction. Oh well, what are you gonna do? I can definitely say that I don't plan to pick up a paint brush for awhile. Thank goodness we got Matt's house painted before I left. I'm all painted out.

I might not get a chance to write again until I back. So just in case I don't, thanks to everyone who's been following along on this journey. It's certainly been the experience of a lifetime and I appreciate all of your support. I couldn't have made it through these two weeks here without your emails and your prayers. I look forward to seeing each and everyone of you very soon after I get back. Especially you Matt:)

Love,

Jamey

So Much to Think About

There are so many thoughts, questions, concerns, and more going through my head tonight that it's tough to get it all out on "paper" in an organized fashion. So bear with me here.

First of all, I had an amazing day today. I was one of three team members who designed and painted a playroom at the public hospital (ie poor people's hospital) and I'm so proud of the work we did. It turned out absolutely beautiful and the nurses and the children were stunned and so appreciative. They loved it!

I'm so overflowing with gratitude right now that I can barely get through this without crying. I feel so blessed to be here and to be having these experiences. So blessed to be able to witness the worst of circumstances, but the best of people. I'm so thankful to have the time and the resources to lend a helping a hand. I feel like I'm gaining so much more than I'm giving. That's a feeling that can be hard to come by sometimes. (Especially as a professional salesperson.) Seeing how the people live here and how I live back home makes me unbelievably thankful. At the same time I feel ashamed for how I've managed all that God has given me. I haven't given nearly as much as I could and there are so many better ways that I could be investing God's resources that I have been. I've learned many lessons here.

I wrote earlier this week that while I like it here, I haven't decided to pack up and live here. I still haven't decided to live here, but I wish I could have a little more time here. I really enjoy the slower pace of life. I haven't really missed my phone, or my Tivo, or the news, or any of the other things that I've been semi-addicted to at home. Here it's so much easier to live life God's way and it's a really great feeling going to bed at night feeling like you've really accomplished something to be proud of. I'm really starting to worry about readjusting to my American life and how will I be different than I was when I got on the plane two weeks ago. I won't really know until I get back and comprehend all that I've seen and done and spend time back in my regular life. I suppose it's not really worth worrying over. All will work out in the end according to God's calling for my life as long as I listen to what he's whispering to me.

I wish you could all experience this with me. I'm excited to show you the photos and tell you all about it, but it will never quite live up to seeing it in person. I would really encourage everyone to step out of their comfort zone and do something that you've always wanted to do. Something that will make you proud and something you think God might have in mind for you. I promise that you won't be disappointed. We only get one life. One chance to do all that we dream of doing. Don't waste your chance here on earth to make a difference. God created us to praise him, to love him, and to love one another. I can testify that when you're doing those things, a feeling that is indescribable comes over you and you want to do all you can to keep it going.

That's what I'm really working on now... how will I keep this going?

It's Serious

We've had a lot of fun on this trip. We've laughed and joked a lot and had so much fun with the kids. But there are some very serious problems here in South Africa and last Saturday we saw them firsthand, up close and in person. We took a trip to the cemetary and we visited some local villages and the dump.

The top photo above is a picture of the dump. People live there. It absolutely the most horrific thing I can imagine seeing (other than maybe war). You can't see any people in the photo, but at times there are children sitting amongst the garbage and the fires and some of them do not have any parents or family. The people there sort through all the trash saving the plastic they find and selling it to the recyclers for money. They eat the edible garbage they find and they feed it to their children. If you bring water, food, or money and give it to the children, the adults will steal it. If you are a child there, you probably have only a very small chance of surviving unless you are rescued by a social worker and even then it's not guaranteed. Half of the adults here in Welkom have HIV, that means roughly half of the children if not more, do too. It's horrible. The adults are dying by the dozens every day and leaving the children with no parents, no home, no food. And many of the children are very sick as well. Once their parents die, they are often passed off to another family member who may also be ill or very likely to abuse them. It's such a sad situation. I was very disturbed by what I saw at the dump and it was difficult to comprehend how people could live that way. I'm having a very tough time understanding why so many people here live in such poverty while in America we are throwing food away left and right and wasting so much money on things that are not necessary. I know the world is always going to have poor people and I can't stop the spread of HIV here, but I really wish there was a solution to these problems. It's so unfair to the children.

When I get home, I'll tell you about some of the children here and their backstory. When I show you their current photographs you won't believe it's the same child. The Niehoff's and the O'Tools have used their service to God to provide these children with childhoods grander than they could have ever imagined. It's pretty amazing stuff. I'm definitly inspired.

The Gold Mine

First of all, let me tell you about the gold mine. It was AWFUL!!! I have never been so scared in my entire life and that is NOT an exaggeration. It was terrifying. First we had to go down a mile and a half in an elevator. Yes, your ears pop. On the way down we were in the elevator with just our group. On the way out, we were packed like sardines in there with 20 miners. None of them spoke english, but we kept hearing them say "Americans" and laughing a bit of an evil sounding laugh. It was a little creepy and it's pitch black. I latched on to Bart's shirt in front of me. I would have been horrified to have been in there by myself. Anyway... it's also pitch black down in the mine. We had these little lamps on our helmets, but if we turned them off, you couldn't even see your hand in front of your face. We walked about 2 miles underground in these tunnels that had already been mined out. A good majority of it is held up by criss-crossed rows of lumber. I'm sure it's fairly safe because hundreds of men have been working down there for years and years and it's never collapsed on them, but I was terrified. Another interesting thing, there are trains under there that carry materials around and when one comes by you have to suck yourself up against a wall until it passes. Seriously. Next came the really horrible part, we had to climb up a pile of rubble to get to the "face" of the mine where they were actually digging and looking for gold. I never actually got all the way up because halfway there I couldn't believe we were actually allowed in there that's how harsh and dangerous it was. It was SUPER SUPER hot and humid and treacherous climbing. Every step up you took, rubble fell down. I was 75% convinced the place was going to collapse. I'm gonna confess it here... I didn't have a meltdown, but I was totally shaking and I had a few tears. It was really the scariest experience of my life. I might never buy gold again. I felt a little embarrassed that I was so scared and no one else seemed to be all that concerned about the danger level, but then I reminded myself that I was scared when we were in the elevator, so the fact that I sucked it up and made it only a few feet away from the face of the mine and all the way back out was a VERY impressive thing. I went WAAAAYYYY past my comfort zone limit. And I'm happy to say that I never plan to visit a gold mine again. Been there, done that. Doubt many other people ever will. Check out the bottom photo... It shows exactly how I was feeling. It's funny now, not so funny at the time. Time plus tragedy equals comedy, right?

Thoughts from Today

We worked all day today on painting one of the boys' flats and a bathroom/laundry room that got remodeled yesterday. Tomorrow morning we're going on the mine tour at 6am and then we're going to the dump and to a couple places in town. It should be a very interesting day.

It's almost 8pm here now and we just finished dinner. We had hot dogs (they're called Russians here... weird) and baked beans and jello. I'm afraid that my plan to lose 5 lbs is not gonna happen. We've been making way too much good food. Tomorrow night we're making some kind of South African stew called something that starts with a "p". We're going to eat with the kids so that should be fun.

Just in case you were wondering, I haven't decided to give up life in the States to move here yet. But I will say that it's inspiring to see Brian and Lois and Amber and Louis (people my age who run this place) living out their dream of serving God and they're so happy doing it that they feel like they've given up nothing and are in fact cheating the system by not having to go sit behind a desk every day. Kinda makes you want to find your true purpose and passion in life for doing what God has always planned for you. The most amazing thing is that they trust God 100% all the time and I am not kidding you when I tell you he has given them absolutely everything they could ever need here. It's unbelievable!! They are so far removed from the United States and a lot of the conveniences we have there, yet somehow they've managed to acquire everything they need and it feels like a mini-US inside these gates.

I've really been thinking a lot today about something Brian said to us this morning which was "You should never be thinking about how much (time/money/ect) you should give to God because God has given us absolutely everything. What you should really be thinking is how much of all this should I be keeping for myself? Everything already belongs to God." That statement really changes my perspective on a lot of things.

I've really been missing you all today. It seems like it's been forever since I saw you and it seems like I have a long way to go til I'll see you again. I'm sure the time will start to fly now that we just have one week left until we start heading home again.

Thanks for all of emails and prayers. They make my day. I can't wait to check my email and get notes from home. Keep them coming! I still have a week to go! I miss you... I miss you... I miss you!!!

Getting to know the kids

I spent almost my whole day today playing with the kids and getting to know them. They are absolutely awesome kids! You can see how much each of them appreciate being here in this safe, clean place. I don't know all of their stories, but the ones I do know are absolutely devastating. So many of the children here know more and have seen more death in their short little lives than any of us could imagine in a whole lifetime. But you would be so amazed at how happy and resilient they are! I have the coolest video in the world of a couple of the girls singing a South African praise song and another of two little girls singing "Jesus Loves Me". They can't get enough of seeing themselves on our cameras and in videos. They'll sing, dance, jump up and down... you name it, they'll do it to get on camera. It's hilarious!

I was a little disappointed this morning when we divided up the work plans and I wasn't going to be doing any physical labor. But as soon as I started playing with the kids, I was no longer disappointed at all. They were so much fun and so happy to have more American friends. They love it when teams come in and work for a couple of weeks so they have more people to play with them. We played tag, we played basketball, baseball, jumped on the trampoline, swam in the pool, played UNO, put together puzzles, and the list could go on and on. So even though I wasn't tearing down walls, tacking down carpet, or any other hard labor, I am exhausted tonight! No wonder kids sleep so well, being a kid is tiring!

That has been today's greatest gift... getting to be a kid again.

"Today is the day the Lord has made. I will rejoice and be glad in it. Today is the day the Lord has made and I won't worry about tomorrow, I'm living for today. This is the day!"

-Lincoln Brewster (Today is the Day)

We made it safely!

Thanks to everyone who was praying for our safe arrival... we FINALLY arrived at The Pines today. We had a quick lunch, got showers (after 48 hours without one), and played with the kids in the swimming pool. After that, we got a tour of the facility and sat down with Brian and Louis (who run The Pines along with their wives) to talk about our itinerary and the work we'll be doing while we're here. It sounds like we'll have plenty to keep us busy with lots of construction on an addition to one of the apartments, plus painting, building a fence outside to keep the toddler's in, and much more. We're also planning to visit Camp 7 (the squatter's camp) down the road and visit the hospital as well. The children are on spring break this week, so we're lucky that we'll get to spend extra time with them. They are all such cool kids! After we got here today, they put on a little show for us (that they organized themselves) and sang "You Raise Me Up" and some of their South African songs. I wish I would have gotten it on video, it was very cool! There's probably much more I could write, but I'm going on very little sleep and to be honest I'm incredibly overwhelmed and not sure what to make of things quite yet.

I miss you all terribly and while I'm happy to be here and excited to see what God has in store for me, I wish you could all be here with me. Being 8000 miles away sure makes you appreciate the people you love.

PS... for the person who asked about the time difference - It's 7 hours later here than in Iowa. Right now it's 2:30 in Iowa and 9:30pm here. Everyone is getting ready for bed while you're all still at work. Weird, I know.

xoxo

Song of the Day

Today is the Day
Lincoln Brewster

Stuck in the Airport

We've been stuck in the London airport ALL DAY! Boring. Boring. More BORING. When we got here it was raining which didn't make us too excited to go out and explore the city. Plus we needed to make sure that our luggage was being forwarded to South Africa and there wasn't anyone working at the South Africa Airlines desk until just a couple of hours ago. Basically since I left Des Moines last night at 7, I've sat on an airplane for 9 hours and in an aiport for about 5. Our flight leaves for Johannesburg at 7. It's 5:25pm here right now. It's an 11 hour flight and we'll arrive in South Africa at 7am tomorrow morning. Let me tell you that sitting in a cramped seat all night last night was not easy and it was only an 8 hour flight. On the brighside, I did get to see the Sex and the City movie. I'm not looking forward to this 11 hour flight at all. But we're here for a reason and it will all work out fine I'm sure.

South Africa Here I Come!

Today's the day... I'm leaving for South Africa at 6:55 tonight. I'm definitely feeling a range of emotions this morning. Part of me is super excited to get going and start having some adventure. Another part of me is really nervous and not so excited. I'm worried about what it's going to be like to travel that far away and be in flight for so long. And of course there's the big worry about getting homesick. Everytime I think about leaving my family and friends to go away for two weeks I start to cry. How am I going to do this??? I'm gonna have to take a big leap of faith here and trust God to get me through this. I'm sure that other members of our group are going to have some homesickness too. Most of them have children and I couldn't imagine leaving my children. So I guess knowing that I'm not the only one who probably feels this way helps a little. We can all depend on each other, right?

I'll be at the airport in about 8 1/2 hours. Here's hoping that the excited part of me takes over and squashes the nervous part before then.

Song of the Day

Francesca Battistelli
Behind the Scenes

I know I just posted a song from this artist a couple of days ago but now that I've gotten a chance to listen to more of her songs, I had to share this one too. I wish you could all hear this song. It's so beautiful. I don't think just posting the lyrics does the song justice because the lyrics and the melody together are what make it so great. The verse that really caught me was "Sometimes I can’t see anything through the dark surrounding me and at times I’m unsure about the ground beneath my feet. If it’s safe and sound. When it’s hard to find hope in the unseen, I have peace in knowing it will find me". I have a feeling this song will get a lot of play on my iPod while I'm in South Africa because those lyrics speak to me and say that even though I don't know the experiences that are awaiting me on this trip, God is working behind the scenes and everything will work out just as He intends it to and my hope lies in believing that with all my heart.

Here's the chorus...

Things aren’t always what they seem
You’re only seeing part of me
There’s more than you could ever know
Behind the scenes
I’m incomplete and I’m undone
But I suppose like everyone
There’s so much more that’s going on
Behind the scenes

Song of the Day

Sexy Love
Ne-Yo

This song has been out for a couple years, but I just found it and I love it.

When I am Weak, He is Strong

We started a new series today at church called "Identity Theft". The lessons are all about the lies that we believe. Today's lesson was called "I have to be Strong". As I prepare for my trip to South Africa, this couldn't have been a more fitting topic.

Isaiah 40: 28-31

"Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Lord is the everlasting God, the creator of the ends of the earth. He will not grow tired or weary, and his understanding no one can fathom. He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."

I'm so excited to go on this trip to see what I can do to help people and to see what God has in store for me, but I'm really going out of my comfort zone here. I get cranky when I'm tired and cranky when I'm hungry. And I get homesick when I go out of town for one night. And I'm outgoing and everything, but I'm not 100% sure about spending two weeks with people I don't know... halfway around the world. And flying on a plane for 21 hours... don't even get me started. What was God thinking asking me to go on this trip? Seriously. I got teary in church this morning thinking about it and I'm getting teary now as I write this. The only explanation I have so far is that he knows my weaknesses and he's asking me to stop trying to be strong and do everything myself. And he's asking me to trust Him this time and know that in my weakest moments He will be strong. And finally in those moments I'll see His true power.

Here goes nothing...

Song of the Day

Free to Be Me
Francesca Battistelli

I discovered this artist on The Hills last week and I liked her so much that I downloaded her whole album. It's called "My Paper Heart". Check it out!

It's Garage Sale Day!!!

Today is opening day of the BIG garage sale fundraiser for my trip! If you need a new wardrobe and you'd like to get it for SUPER SUPER cheap... you must come to this sale! If you would like to redecorate your home and you don't want to spend much money... you must come to this sale! If you like to read and you're looking for newer releases for under $3... you must come to this sale! If you're in need of a new purse... we have about 30, so you must come to this sale!

My friends and family were all SOOOOOO generous. They donated so many items that are such great quality... some of them still have the tags on them. The sale is today until 2pm and tomorrow 7am to noon. Please come by and say hello and see if there's anything you can't live without!

Meet the Kids!

Here's a great photo of the kids at The Pines Christian Centre in South Africa! These are the kids that we've been supporting through our ministry at Point of Grace. And through our upcoming mission trip we'll be renovating space for another apartment so that even more kids can come to live at The Pines and grow up healthy and safe and able to go out and change their lives and their country through the greatness of Jesus Christ!

Busy is Good

I've officially decided that busy is good and totally wins out over laziness any day! I've had all sorts of projects lately and I feel so accomplished and motivated to keep going. For the past two weeks, Matt and I have been working like crazy to get his new house move-in ready. We've painted, cleaned carpets, cleaned walls, and lots of other small projects here and there. Matt and his dad built an island in his kitchen too, which I thought was pretty impressive. Don't you just love a handy guy! You should see how great his place looks!

And on the days I haven't been helping Matt, I've been getting ready for the big garage sale this weekend. Wow... garage sales are a LOT of work! First I had to gather all of my own things and then drag them over to Kyra's. My family and friends (who I love immensely!!) drug their stuff over to Kyra's too. We priced it all and organized it on tables and racks and now we've got ourselves a fabulous sale all set up and ready to start on Friday morning at the crack of dawn. I'm praying that the sale will go very well and we'll sell ALL of our stuff and raise lots of money for South Africa. And bonus if we sell everything, we don't have to haul it all away:) My goal is to raise enough to pay off the last $600 of my trip. If we make more than $600, we'll use all of the extra money to buy medicine for the kids at The Pines. The families that run The Pines said they always need Tylenol and other over the counter medications for the kids. Our group already has a huge collection of beany babies, shoes, crafts, and other items to take to The Pines, so I figured that medicine would be an excellent way to use the garage sale profits to help the kids in South Africa.

I'm down to only 12 more days until departure. It's getting pretty realistic all of sudden and I'm getting SOOOOO excited!

Well said...

Disturb us, Lord, when we are too pleased with ourselves,
When our dreams have come true because we dreamed too little,
When we arrived safely because we sailed too close to the shore.

Disturb us, Lord, when with the abundance of things we possess
we have lost our thirst for the waters of life;
Having fallen in love with life, We have ceased to dream of eternity
And in our efforts to build a new earth, We have allowed our vision of the new Heaven to dim.

Disturb us, Lord, to dare more boldly,
To venture on wilder seas where storms will show Your mastery;
Where losing sight of land, we shall find the stars.
We ask you to push back the horizons of our hopes;
And to push back the future in strength, courage, hope, and love.

This we ask in the name of our Captain,Who is Jesus Christ.

– Sir Francis Drake who sailed in 1577.

Meet My South Africa Team...

Back Row: Me, Bart, Troy, and Steve

Front Row: Robyn, Wynde, and Julie

We leave two weeks from today!

Today's Song of the Day

Sleeping to Dream
Jason Mraz

18 more days...

Only 18 more days until I leave for South Africa! I've prayed quite a bit asking God to prepare my head and my heart for this trip and he has certainly showed up for me. For awhile I felt more worried than excited, but I'm over that hump now and I'm getting more excited every day. At this point I'm most worried about the following things...

What if I get motion sick during that LONG LONG flight?
What if I can't sleep and I get really tired and cranky with 6 people I don't know?
What if I get really homesick?

The good news is that none of my concerns have a worst case scenario that's all that bad. If I get motion sick, I'll just have to deal with it for a day or so. If I can't sleep and I get a little cranky, I'll just have to suck it up and keep going and try to keep my crankiness to myself. If I get homesick, I'll just have to stick it out and try to keep my mind busy and remember that I'll be home in no time and everyone and everything will still be here when I get back. Promise me you'll all be here when I get back!!! And if you could send me emails while I'm gone that would really help me too! You can send them to jameydeen@live.com.

Last night our team got together to take our group photo. As soon as it's emailed to me I'll post it so you can all see who I'll be traveling with. There are seven of us total, three men and four women. It's going to be so strange traveling for two weeks with 6 people I don't know very well, but they are all so nice and we now have a common bond that will last a lifetime thanks to this adventure in South Africa. I'm sure that God chose each one of us for a reason and as the trip goes along those reasons will be revealed. I'm really looking forward to seeing everything that He has planned for us, it's going to be unbelievable!

Song of the Day

Today's Song of the Day:

East to West
Casting Crowns

I've been listening to it on repeat for the past week. Definitely download this one.

Monday Morning Quote

We judge ourselves by what we feel capable of doing, while others judge us by what we have already done.

-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

For years I have been trying to put my finger on why I'm so hard on myself and why others never seem to view me as I view myself. This quote is the perfect explanation, I wish it would have occurred to me sooner. I very much judge myself not based on how well I've accomplished a task, but by how much better I think I could have done it. What a shame that is! It keeps me from ever truly being proud of my accomplishments and to be honest it does make it impossible for me to ever see myself as others see me. Sometimes I wonder how I've gotten to where I am in my career, which I really shouldn't wonder about. I have worked hard and put a lot of time and energy into my job. My problem is that I spend a lot of time thinking that I'm capable of doing so much more new business, so much better at negotiating, so much better at this or that and I completely let those thoughts overshadow the bigger picture of what I have already accomplished. On one hand being hard on myself is what has pushed me to this level, but on the other hand it's sad that it stops me from really enjoying what I do. This quote and thought process doesn't apply only to my work, it applies to my personal life as well. Towards the end of my marriage, I had no idea why anyone would want to be married to me. I'm being serious. I could not see myself as other people saw me and my self esteem had plummeted. It was tough enough to get through some of the challenges Joe and I had to deal with, but putting on top of that a whole pile of "I had no idea who I was", did not help at all. I've come A LONG way in that aspect since my divorce, but it still pops up every once awhile. I'm sure everyone struggles with it a little from time to time, so I'm probably not that strange. (Try to hold your laughter.) So now that I've found this quote and the truth of it seems so obvious, I'm going to post it in my office and do my best to do my best and be happy with what I accomplish everyday... not judge myself so much on what I might have left on the table. Wow... that's deep for a Monday (oh wait, it's Tuesday) morning.

Rock O'Donna

My friend Angela's four year old called Barack Obama, Rock O'Donna. How funny is that?? I'm still an undecided voter at this point and thanks to Matt (who I think is a great political teacher) I'm becoming much more educated this week. I am proud to say that I've seen all of the key speeches during the Democratic National Convention so far. I've seen Michelle Obama, Hillary Clinton, Bill Clinton, and Joe Biden, plus a few others. I plan on watching Barack's speech tonight and I'm actually kind of looking forward to it. Weird, I know. I used to think this stuff was kind of boring. I'm a registered voter and not registered as a democrat. However I plan to vote for whoever I think will do the best job. I'm still not sure who that will be yet. I know these conventions are all choreographed to be as inspirational and moving as possible, and I have to hand it to the speakers I've seen so far... they've inspired me to actually care enough to get educated. I've voted in every election I've been eligible for, but I can't say that I've been very knowledgeable in the past. I mainly just voted for whoever I thought my grandpa would vote for. My grandpa's a smart guy and very politically knowledgeable, but I'm sure even he would rather I did my homework and made my own choice. So, next week I'll tune in for the Republican National Convention and then I'll make my choice. McCain or Obama? I'd like to believe that they will both do everything in their power to make sure our country starts heading up instead of down, it's just a matter of which one has the better plan and the ability to inspire our country to keep moving forward and keep the American dream alive.

Today's Song of the Day

Everybody Wants to Rule the World
Tears for Fears

So cute!

Here's another cute picture of my nephew!

Today's Song of the Day

Just Dance
Lady Gaga

Definitely download this one. It's a good one to get you going for the weekend!

Five things I wish I knew before college...

My little brother is going to college. He moves in tomorrow. I can't believe it! I can still remember my fourth grade teacher pulling me aside to tell me that she got a note from the office that said my mom had a baby boy, my brother. Weird! I remember when he went to preschool, when he broke his leg jumping off my bed, when we used to sing the theme to the Loveboat because we heard it on Sister Act 2 a million times, when he started tee ball, and when he started high school. I can't imagine how my parents must be feeling because I'm only his sister and I feel like the time has flown.

I'm so proud of him. He's been such a great kid from day 1. He's stayed out of trouble, done an unbelievable job with his grades, and put so much time, effort, and heart into being the best he could be on and off the field. More than that, I know he's been a truly good friend to people and that really impresses me.

So with Kyler getting ready to move to Grandview tomorrow, I started thinking about what I wish I knew before I went to college. Here's what I came up with...

1) You should come home for dinner once in awhile. You won't miss anything at school. Your friends will still be there when you get back. (Or you can bring them with you.) It's just for a couple of hours and Mom and Dad will be really happy you made time to come home.

2) Just because you're on your own and you can do whatever you want, whenever you want... don't do whatever you want whenever you want. Maintain your discipline with school and work and sports. Just because you can stay out all night doesn't mean you should. It's true that not much good happens after midnight.

3) Don't let anyone talk you into doing something you don't feel 100% comfortable with especially if it can't be undone. Some things you only get one shot at getting right.

4) Enjoy everything and every minute of your time in college. And I mean EVERYTHING! Enjoy being broke. When else is it cool to scrounge and scrape to get by? Enjoy being able to wear sweats every day if you want to. Enjoy random times hanging out in your dorm with your friends doing nothing. Enjoy staying up late and studying. The "real world" isn't nearly as flexible as college life and some of the things that seem crappy like studying and having no money, seem like a great trade off when you have to start getting up for work every morning and you can't stay up too late or hang out all afternoon with your friends. So enjoy it... all of it. It goes way too fast.

5) Lastly, don't be afraid to meet people. Don't be shy. Be yourself. People like people who are authentically themselves. You don't have to be like everyone else for people to like you. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Most people are just as self conscious as you are and they'll be relieved that you were the one to approach them and say hi.

Those are my words of wisdom. Nothing really original in my words, but all things I wish I would have thought about before I started college. My brother's cool...he'll be just fine.

Today's Song of the Day

What If
SafetySuit

One forward out of a hundred...

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

Someone forwarded this to me today and I loved it. I thought it was worthy of posting. I wish I could have been there to see the rainbows in person.

Great Quote

I found this quote this morning and I love it...

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking if there is anything you can do. Think up something appropriate and do it. - EW Howe

What a simple, but profound statement. I can look back and hear myself a thousand times asking people, "What can I do for you?". Why didn't I just come up with something and do it? Sometimes I get a little caught up in thinking that whatever I could do wouldn't be enough (depending on the situation of course). I just decided I'm not going to do that anymore. Even if I do the smallest thing like pick up the phone or send a note, it's better than not doing anything and never acknowledging that I saw the person needed some love. At church last weekend they talked about an organization called "To Write Love on Her Arms". There's a very cool story about how it all got started and it fits perfectly with this quote. I recommend googling it and reading about it because it's worth knowing... but I'll sum it for you here. There was a girl who was at the lowest of low points in her life and her friends stepped up to save her from her own self destruction. They didn't ask what they could do, they just did it. And they helped save her life. Pretty powerful stuff.

The Hills are Alive...

Oh Lauren I've missed you and Spencer I've missed being annoyed by you! One of my guiltiest pleasures without a doubt is being addicted to The Hills on MTV. I know it's a complete waste of time and 100% superficial stupid content. And I honestly don't care if it's reality or completely fake, I find it fascinating anyway. Who doesn't want to peek into the life of a totally cool young Hollywood chick who dates super HOT guys and has an endless amount of drama with her girlfriends? Plus, the one liners that these people come up with every week are so great. "Relationship vacation" was one of my favorite terms coined on The Hills. My friends and I got a lot of use out of that one. And who can forget Lauren telling Heidi "I want to forgive you and I want to forget you."?? Priceless. I also love that they pick the coolest songs I've never heard before as the soundtrack every week and they give you the titles and artists at the bottom of the screen. Today's Song of the Day is my favorite from last night. If you are a closet Hills fan, you can come out. I'm right there with you!

Song of the Day

Soasin
You're Not Alone

Girls' Weekend at the Lake

I had such a fun weekend! Kyra hosted a "Girls' Weekend at the Lake" on Saturday and we had a blast. The six of us got together for breakfast at The Port at Lake Panarama for breakfast around 10:30. After breakfast we got the boat loaded and picked up our cute chauffeur, Nate. Nate's the bartender at the Tiki Bar at the lake, but he went in a couple of hours late so he could hang out and drive us around the lake. What guy would say no to being the only guy on a boat with six girls?? For the record, once we dropped Nate off, Kyra did a FABULOUS job of navigating the boat. We did not NEED Nate, it was just kind of fun to have him around:) Girl power was alive and well this weekend let me tell you! We stayed on the water until 7 or so and then we went back to the Port and had some drinks at the Tiki Bar. The weather was absolutely beautiful on Saturday. We stayed until sunset at the Tiki Bar and then headed back to Kyra's condo to cook some dinner. We ended up making the best fondue ever (without a fondue pot) and eating way too much. We had great intentions of staying up all night drinking wine and playing games, but we were so exhausted from being in the sun all day eating and drinking that we fell asleep after we watched Michael Phelps win his 8th gold medal. I can remember laughing so hard that I cried about three times, so I consider this weekend to be one of the best ever solely based on that. I got up early on Sunday morning so I could make it back for church and Kennedy's 4th birthday party, but I laughed out loud by myself the entire way home about something I saw on the way out the door. Molly was sleeping in the living room on an air mattress. When I went to bed it was the tallest, hugest air mattress I had ever seen. When I left in the morning, it did not have one drop of air in it and she was sleeping on it in the exact same position as she was when I went to bed she just happened to be flat on the ground.
It was HILARIOUS!!! Hopefully, "Girls' Weekend at the Lake" will be an annual event because we all had so much fun. Kyra is the best hostess!

Today's Song of the Day

Fall Back
Dear Jayne

My Itinerary

Our plane tickets were booked today and I found out our itinerary. We're leaving Monday night 9/29 at 6:55pm from Des Moines. (That means I can work all day and only borrow one day of my vacation time from next year!) We fly to Minneapolis and from there we fly to London. We get a 7 hour layover in London, so we'll be able to get out and see the city a little bit, which is pretty cool! From London we fly to Johannesburg and then it's a four hour drive to Welkom. On our way back we fly from Johannesburg to London, from London to Detroit, and from Detroit to Des Moines. We don't have any long layovers on the way back... thank goodness! We'll arrive back in Des Moines at 4:20pm on Sunday 10/12 and I'll be back in the office Monday morning at 8. (I'm exhausted just thinking about it!)

You can see how far it is when you look at a map, but holy cow it seems even farther when you picture yourself sitting in the airplane seat for HOURS!!! Here's how much time we spend travelling...

Des Moines to Minneapolis: 1 hr 10 min
Minneapolis to London: 8 hrs 25 min
London to Johannesburg: 11 hrs 10 min

Total travel time with layovers: 29 hrs 15 minutes (not including 4 hr drive to Welkom)

Johannesburg to London: 11 hrs 10 min
London to Detroit: 8 hrs 50 min
Detroit to Des Moines: 1 hr 51 min

On the way home our travel time is a little shorter, only 26 hrs and 32 minutes.

Yikes!

I'm so excited for everything God is doing in my life and I'm thrilled to be going on this trip. I'm not as thrilled about the long flights, but I think all of them are overnight, so hopefully we'll be able to get some sleep and it will be kind of dark in the plane. The longest flight I've ever taken was only 4 1/2 hours, so this will definitely be a new experience for me. I've never even used a bathroom on a plane! Oh boy... can't wait for that! And I have another question... do I wear the same clothes for 30 hours straight??? I wish you could all go with me on this trip. I guarantee it will be such entertainment:)

Today's Song of the Day

Africa
Toto

Sorry I had to do it!

If you'd like to help...

My friend Kyra came up with a brilliant plan to help me raise money for my trip to South Africa. We're having a garage sale! It wasn't easy to pick a date because the trip is coming up quickly and there's a lot going on in the next few weeks, but the BIG Garage Sale Day is going to be September 20th. If anyone has items laying around the house that they'd like to donate, let me know and I'll make arrangements with you to get them over to Kyra's house. There are several people on my South Africa team that need to raise money too. I'm only planning to use the bare minimum of what I need from the profits of this sale and I'll gladly split the rest among the people on my team who need it. So the more items we have, the better! If we knock it out of the park and make lots of money, we can always use the rest to purchase items for the people in South Africa. We found out today that each of us can bring one suitcase for ourselves and then we'll also be carrying another suitcase with items needed at The Pines. Some of the things we'll be bringing with us are clothing, toothbrushes, toothpaste, hand sanitizer, and some stuffed animals for the sick children at the hospital. It's so sad how many things we take for granted that are luxury items to people who have nothing. I can't imagine a hospital in America where the children are all alone with no family and don't even have a toy to comfort them.

This is going to be a life changing trip and I already have a feeling that God's going to show me just how many trivial things in my life I spend WAY too much time worrying about. I really appreciate everyone's support as I prepare for this experience. I'm already going through a range of emotions from excitement to scared to death and it means everything to me to have my friends and family cheering me on and believing I can do it. Everything we're doing on this trip is to show the people of South Africa God's love and amazing power to change lives and every time I get words of encouragement and support from the people close to me (and even from strangers), I feel God's love and power too. Thanks for helping me pay it forward.

Saturday Afternoon Masterpiece

Today's Song of the Day

Closer
Ne-Yo

I haven't heard a song yet from this guy that I don't like. He's got some great songs. I spent some time this afternoon making a CD for Matt's sister and I found this song on iTunes. It made the cut. I think I've created a Hip/Hop R&B masterpiece of a mixed CD. (Clearly a matter of opinion I know.) Here's the full track list...

Fast Car - Wyclef
Signs - Snoop f/ Justin Timberlake
What You Got - Colby O'Donis
Green Light - John Legend f/ Andre 3000
Dangerous - Kardinal Offshall f/ Akon
U Can't - One Chance
Bust in Baby Pt 2 - Plies
One More Chance/Stay... Notorious BIG and some other peeps
Don't Turn Back - Colby O'Donis
Go Crazy (remix) - Fat Joe, Jay Z, and some other peeps
Fall Back - Dear Jayne
Closer - Ne-Yo
Only You - 112, Mase, Notorious BIG
You Are - Estelle f/ John Legend
Sexual Eruption - Snoop

I survived!

I just got back from my trip to the doctor to get my shots for South Africa. I had to get three. (Hepatitis A and Hepatitis B and Tetanus). While I was REALLY dreading it, I have to admit it wasn't that bad! I survived! I have to give the nurse a lot of credit though. She was very fast and her technique was amazing, they didn't hurt much. The tetanus shot made my arm hurt a little, but the poke of the needle wasn't too bad. My hands and feet instantly starting sweating when she walked in with needles, but I looked the other direction and I never actually saw them... just felt the pricks. Matt told me to be brave... I think it helped!

Another fear conquered!

Today's Song of the Day

Free Fallin'
John Mayer (check out his new double CD "Where the Light Is"... it's awesome)

Why South Africa?

Here is a link to a video about where I'll be going in South Africa and why we're partnering with the Pines Christian Center. It's pretty cool stuff!

http://www.pointofgrace.com/site/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=248&Itemid=236

One step closer to South Africa

Yesterday I finally got my new driver's license and filed for my passport. (While reading this story, keep in mind that in order to get my new SS card, I had to go the SS office three times and the Dallas County Courthouse once.) What a pain! I went to the Driver's License place in Ankeny on Monday... and they were closed. So yesterday morning, I went back to try again. I waited in line for fifteen minutes and when I got up the counter, wouldn't you know it, I was missing the one piece of evidence they needed to change my name on my license! So... I had to go all the way back to Waukee, get the piece of paper and drive back to Ankeny to the Driver's License place. I was so frustrated that I was almost in tears when I left to go back home and get the piece of paper. By the time I got back, I had calmed down and was standing in line (a shorter line might I add) reading a book. Then the coolest thing happened. The guy in line behind me was a guy from my high school who I haven't seen in at least five years, probably longer. For anyone reading this who went to my HS, it was Sam Arpy! He's been in the military for quite awhile and has been living in Italy for a few years. I was hoping to see him at our reunion a couple of weeks ago, but he wasn't back yet. So anyway... I got all worked up about having to go back and forth a million times to the Driver's License place and it all worked out in the end.

Finally, my trip to South Africa seems to be coming together. I have my new SS card, my new Driver's License, and my passport should be here within two weeks. Tomorrow I'm going to the doctor for a physical and three of the five shots I need. I'm sure that appointment will give me plenty to blog about. Giving blood and getting shots are two things that I wish I could go my whole life without doing, so I'm not really looking forward to the appointment tomorrow. But I am looking forward to hopefully conquering my fear. I know the pain will be worth it in the end. I'm going on this trip because I think it will be an unbelievable experience, but I think it will be an unbelievable experience because I'm doing it for God.

Song of the Day

Today's Song of the Day

Only Grace
Matthew West

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKL0QB-_ho0

Jeremy Camp: Take a Litte Time

Yesterday I turned in my application and my deposit for a mission trip to South Africa. I(hopefully will) leave September 28th. This song has been one of my favorites for awhile, but it really captures why I want to go on this trip, so I've been listening to it quite a bit over the past few weeks. Here's my favorite part...

I know it all seems complicated,
There's nothing more that could be stated,
Now, is the time to kneel,
Reaching out to what is real,
So many times I've hesitated,
How much I feel my heart is aching, now.
Ohh, now.

And take just a little time,
To give your hand.
Take just a little time,
To give your hand,
See the world,
And take just a little time and try to understand,
That there's more going on,
Than what these eyes can see.

Great Collaboration

Everybody download this song...

Green Light
John Legend w/ Andre 3000

The Last Piece of the Puzzle

Finally, after three attempts, the Social Security Office and I have come to an agreement that I can go back to being Jamey Deen. It was not an easy task. Somehow I kept going in there with the wrong documents or uncertified copies or this wrong or that wrong, but after three vistits to the SS office and a vistit to the Dallas County Courthouse... it's official. Jamey Deen is back. It feels good to put Gilbert away. It never really had a great ring to it anyway:)

Today's Song of the Day

Where I Stood
Missy Higgins

Go Wildcats!

I'm so proud of my brother and the Carlisle Baseball team! They won their third district game last night and will playing in the state tournament at Sec Taylor on Tuesday night. They have had an unbelievable year... first going to State in football and now in Baseball. I'm so happy for them. They are such a great group of guys who all work hard and all work together. I've never seen a more deserving team and I wish them the very best of luck. I will absolutely be there cheering them on! I can't wait! Here's a great picture of the team and a cool video of my parents congratulating Kyler after last night's win against Benton. The game went 9 innings!

Best New Song on iTunes

Fast Car

Wyclef f/ Lupe Fiasco

Song of the Day

Today's Song of the Day

Time of My Life
David Cook

Not looking back...

I'm off for three whole days of relaxation! Yeah!! I'm going to spend the 4th of July weekend with Angela and her family at a lake in Illinois. Hopefully I'll be nice and tan when I come back.

As most of you know, it was last year on the 4th of July that Joe decided being married to me wasn't his favorite plan. I've been struggling a little bit lately with memories of that day, but tomorrow I plan on relaxing and having fun and not even thinking about what I was doing a year ago. Joe and I were supposed to go to the lake with Angela and Kyle last year and obviously that didn't work out. So, I'm very proud of myself for being able to pack my bag and make the trip this year without getting too caught up in the bad memories of last year.

Getting divorced was horrible, but I do have to say that out of that bad situation have come many amazing blessings and now that I'm at the one year anniversary it feels like a good time to reflect on them.

First of all, my friends and family are a huge blessing. Probably the biggest gift God has given me. I've never felt closer to my friends than I have in the past year and I'm so appreciative that every single one of them was there for me in one way or another. I feel like I've made a ton of progress over the year, but at the beginning I'm sure it was tough for them to take all of the crying and the sadness. And I really appreciate everyone who listened and helped me through the tough parts.

Another blessing that I never expected is that I overcame my fear that I could never be alone and that I wasn't a fun person. Now I actually enjoy living by myself and spending time by myself. I don't constantly need someone and I was surprised at how quickly I was able to realize it. When I was going through counseling at the beginning of all this, my counselor asked me what my hobbies and interests were. I'm actually embarrassed to say that I didn't have an answer for him. I couldn't remember anything I enjoyed doing besides hanging out with my friends and doing stuff with Joe. Weird. What happened to me?? No wonder I was miserable. I think because Joe didn't really enjoy a lot of the things I enjoyed, I had given them up and become some other version of myself. Now I'm back to who I really am and it feels so much better and so much easier. And as far as living alone goes, I have two roomates right now and it was not an easy adjustment for me to give up all of that alone time. I NEVER dreamed I would ever get to the point where I would be so happy to spend time by myself. Now that's progress.

I'm not gonna give too many details about Matt because I don't want to embarrass him, but I have had so much fun with him this year. It's cool to meet a guy who naturally enjoy doing the things I enjoy and who's life doesn't always have to be a big party or so dramatic all the time. He's such a hard worker and he takes so much pride in everything he does and that has kind of rubbed off on me a little. I completely appreciate that about him.

I have found myself really reflecting on how I felt when Joe left and really feeling the sadness all over again lately. I've tried not to do it, but it sneaks up on me sometimes. I always try to remind myself that I am probably one of the luckiest people in the world. I have amazing friends and family, a great guy to spend time with, deep faith in Jesus Christ, a beautiful home, a great job, and so many wonderful things to look forward to. There are probably a million other blessings I could list, but I'll save those for another day. God has been good to me and true to his word that he makes all things work for good for those who have faith in Him.

Last year the 4th of July might not have gone as I planned, but God has provided so many better things than what I had before and so I'm thankful even for the tough times.

Have a wonderful 4th of July weekend! I know I will.

Today's Song of the Day

The Heart of Life
John Mayer

"You know it's nothing new. Bad news never had good timing. But then the circle of your friends will defend the silver lining. Pain throws your heart to the ground
Love turns the whole thing around. No, it won't all go the way it should, but I know the heart of life is good." - john mayer