27 years and 364 days...

I'm turning 28 tomorrow and I could have died three different ways before work this morning (just a slight exaggeration). I can laugh about it now...

One of my bathroom sinks and my shower has been draining kind of slow lately. A friend (actually I'm calling you out on this, Matt) suggested that I use this industrial strength drain cleaner that contractors and builders use. I thought it sounded like a good plan, so I bought some at Lowe's Saturday night. (Very exciting Saturday night as you can see.) When he was telling me how to use it, I have to admit that I questioned whether or not he thought I was dumb. I believe I said "Hello... I'm not stupid. Of course I know how to use drain cleaner." I will give him credit that he warned me it was extremely toxic. It came in a bottle wrapped in a plastic bag for goodness sake!

OK, so here's how it went down this morning...

I was instructed to pour half of the bottle in the bathtub and half in the sink. Wait 20 minutes, then run COLD water for five minutes. He said that it would smell really bad so do it right before I leave for work. The issues started when I finally got the seal open. I poured it in and it was brown and horrible looking and even worse smelling, not to mention it made a disgusting noise in the drain like it was eating whatever was in there. It splashed a little and I was afraid it was going to stain my white sink and tub, so I took a towel and tried to clean it up a little. When I was doing that I got some on my hand and it was SUPER HOT! So as if nearly suffocating from the fumes didn't kill me, the burning flesh was gonna get me. First indication it was toxic... it smelled horrible. Second indication, it was brown and disgusting. Third, it made a horrible noise! Fourth... it almost burned my skin off!! This stuff is serious, it obviously comes in a plastic bag for a reason. So I let it sit for probably 12 to 15 minutes, not the entire 20 like I was instructed. Then I turned the cold water on and went into my bedroom to get dressed. I came back in a couple minutes later and my entire bathroom was covered in water! My radio was sitting on the edge of the counter in a pool of water, so I was fairly sure I was going to get electrocuted after narrowly escaping asphyxiation and burning flesh. I turned off the water and dried up the floor and the counter and the cabinets below. I opened the cabinet to put my radio away and discovered that every single thing under there was soaking wet. Nice. I took everything out and dried it all off. I felt the pipe and it was wet too. Right underneath it there was a spot that looked like the cabinet was dissolving. I'm thinking the amazing drain cleaner ate not only the junk in the drain, but the pipe too. Long story short... I got a little more than I bargained for with this SUPER-DUPER-HEAVY-DUTY-NEVER-NEED-TO-BUY-DRANO-AGAIN drain cleaner. I think next time I'll just call a plumber:) (But I do appreciate Matt's good intentions.)

Today's Song of the Day

Uptown Girl
Billy Joel